Tears Of The Son- GoodBye Phills ’16!

I was seated there, broken hearted. The ONLY piece of biscuit I had preserved, had escaped my mouth. Immediately I dipped it in and out of my juice, it broke off and fell on the floor. On normal days, I’d apply the 3 seconds rule- Grab it before it gets to the floor. Even if I missed it, I’d pick it from the floor. Germs are not aware. This day was different. I had three awesome visitors. My prayer partner (PP), Mercy, Emily and Joe. I tried to secure the place my biscuit had fallen so that in case they leave early, I’d pick it up and eat it. But you know Mercy. In her jumpy state, as she tried to forcefully reach for my peanut butter, she stepped right on it. My heart scattered into pieces. I tried to grin in pretext of not knowing what had happened. My biscuit was Gone! What happened to submission?


Muchai the PPs you gave me bully me all days. Do you mean all the discussion about submission didn’t bear fruit? I heard there was a heated discussion on this topic when I missed BS the other time. Immediately after reading Colossians 3:18..all potential feminists became vile snakes almost spitting venomous words against the society’s requirements for submission. Sadly I missed it. I really wished I were there to see how BS was that day. The kind that makes Felix forget to ask whether there is Tea afterwards or a bigger cup for refreshments.


I was shocked to discover that even in her ever quiet sense during most Bible Study, the Persian Butter cup was an ardent contributor to the discussion, I wonder which side she supported. I wish I saw her in action that day. All I know about her is her characteristic silky, black, natural hair that typically identifies her with her elderly beauty pageant wise sister Joyce, and her chubby cheeks.

I would have asked Benja about the proceedings of the day but I know he had absolutely no recollection of the ongoing discussion. Given that I know the effect of the intense day we had had, he wasn’t really a reliable person at the time to ask about the details of such deep conversations. Well unless there is a Lingala background music playing. In which case he would be very attentive by all means. I wouldn’t want to speak much of him because I might find myself confessing that I catch him off guard 100% staring at…

Dottie too was there! She is famous for her mellifluous voice and the way she sets the mood of singing. She puts on a somber face of cluttered emotions almost like one who is about to cry and goes…”We worship you. …We lift your name Lord!” Then the congregation transcends the mood…worship begins.


Evelyn is so adroit in God’s word! When we are amidst a tough argument about why Fello shouldn’t eat meat slaughtered at a Makumbusho by his neighbors back home because it is meat offered to Idols. Or Kove’s neighbors who regularly steals cows from another Christian neighbor expecting renewed forgiveness, you just see her shoot up her hand, burning with passion.


Then you notice Josephine, Pricillah, Joyce and Ndanu too are burning with zeal. They want to deliver the biblical perspectives. First, Josephine shouldn’t be given such chances. She always makes me feel like I have never touched the bible. She just knows so many scriptures related to one thing. She intelligently brings them all in her explanations. By the time she finishes, I always feel BS should be halted and an altar call made. Refreshments can be served as we meditate henceforth.


Ndanu is another one. She is soft spoken and gentle with her words, but full of content. She speaks with a speed governor, editing each thought that comes off her mouth. I knew how smart she is during Trivia. Like other contestants, she picked about 12 random papers with bible verses written on. She was able to recite the texts from the quoted verses flawlessly! I was challenged. Backto the BS session, because many people want to contribute, she humbly passes up her chance.


You guys know Joyce. When she says she is going to be very brief or wants to say something in a sentence, she takes 5 minutes and 47 seconds.  Her one sentence has 17 comas and 13 verses right? The problem is, she engages you in her talk that you hardly notice the time flying. We agree now that she too shouldn’t be allowed to speak right? Her wisdom is saved for the last minutes.


The only person who gets this golden chance is Evelyn. And she never disappoints: One verse, period. The verse is succinct. It explains every question asked by everyone. You can’t imagine she was in her phone texting while the question was being asked yet she managed to answer it perfectly! She really encourages me to ‘…join Padh-We.’ (Pathway-a discipleship class in church)


This is where you know who Muchai is, a wise leader. She always knows who to pick for what duty. From someone who will make good Ugali during sleep overs to one who will plan what to buy when Fancy is shopping for Sophie’s kid, Baby Myles. Sorry I mean when WE are shopping for Baby Myles not Fancy. She knows who to call when she’s going for banana ride at Luna Park.

You don’t expect Evelyn’s chance to speak will come easy, do you? When the debate is heated and Kove is bringing more complications on a simple topic, everyone starts speaking. That’s when you pity Muchai whose shrill voice is suppressed. You can hardly hear her shout, “People. ..People…People. ..” All you can see are veins in her neck and you know indeed, leading a BS is a real struggle.


Anyway, after Evelyn’s verse everything is settled. Kadima is all smiles, I don’t know why. No I do know, I just won’t say it loud. Anyway, after her verse, two more people may cement it, say Pricilla with a real life analogy talking about the aspect of engaging one’s brain when reading the bible and not merely accept everything bombarded on their heads. Finally Fancy says what her mentor said and we move on. By the way, given that we know the gentleman behind the camera, needless to say Pricilla’s pictures will come out best.


This is where the two Engineering Zombies, Benja and I come in. To read the next verse. We are usually caught off guard wondering how such young people can have that much passion for Christ. To read and explore the bible to this level where they have all answers at finger tips. All I have at my finger tips such times are dirty, oily nails. After spending half my day standing in the Laboratory doing an experiment without getting results, only to be told four hours later that the equipment we are using are faulty.

Just after reading the verse, I notice someone in specs seated at the farthest corner with her legs fold. She is staring at me like a class 7 English teacher who used to beat us up because of errors in our compositions. You all know who am talking about. Mercy Muchai’s name sake-Yes Wincie! Precisely Teacher Wanjiku.


I always have a feeling that Wincie is the cheekiest person in our BS. But like Jacky and Esther, she is ever quiet following the proceedings. I have a feeling during the session, she’s just correcting every person who speaks. Silently in her brain she writes vile comments e.g ‘Poor English’ before awarding Oxygen marks (O2). I always looked forward to that day when she’ll get up and pinch everyone’s nose sighting collective mistakes, ‘Hapa dio mnapatililianga Ujinga!’ One day, this will happen people. It’s coming, Beware!

Alternatively, I’d have asked my neighbor at Mamlaka-Joe. But I doubt if I’ll concentrate seeing him explain. I’ll probably burst out laughing. He always reminds me of SpongeBob Square Pants. One of my most spectacular scenes was watching Joe amidst SLVs struggling to coordinate the movements of his hands and legs in the name of dancing. You were really awesome during  ‘Salt Leavers Special presentation’ Joe.


I’d have asked about the proceedings from my PP Mercy or Benia’s PP, Emily but I didn’t dare. You know those two WhatsApp emojis that show happiness and smileys? If our BS was a WhatsApp text, Emily and Mercy would be the two emojis.  Ever cheerful, a little clueless at times, but like Joshua, when an opportunity to speak comes, they are always on point.


Joyce and Chenye would be the laughter emojis, they are always happy. I only remember Chenye for her wide smile and passionate laughter. Remember your Form 3 Chemistry-Nitrogen? There was something called laughing gas. I think these two always have this element in their diet. Like Chenye just wakes up in the morning, washes her face, brushes her teeth and eats Chapo, Smokey and a cup of Laughing Gas. Keep it up Chenye!

I once met Tasha at agony Hill in the evening. I don’t like hugging her. Tasha has a towering height and physique of a model. When she hugs me, she has to crouch a little. The way you would bend to reach for Pastor John Lwawi’s hand for greetings. It is called being vertically challenged. Don’t you dare say short.


Anyway, I asked Tasha why she has been skipping BS sessions. She tells me, it’s because she was taking some Chinese/Japanese classes. This was not a surprise to me, given the size and shape of her eyes, Chinese is the way to go. Unfortunately she’ll be the tallest, black, Chinese girl. In USA blacks are called Niggas. In China, blacks are called Chiggas. Tasha you are my Chigga!


I wonder where Ruth disappears to on Mondays. I’d have concluded that she’s gone for a photo shoot. But as a qualified PSI- Private Secret Investigator (NOT stalker) I can confirm that she hasn’t had any significant recent shoot that’d guarantee her absensure. Her dp is that same one she had last Semester, with her lovely mum. From other sources she recently had just a minor shoot with core fashion. Ruth, where art thou?



Vinny is visually impaired, but when he decides to laugh at you, he does it really good that it pricks. He literally Laughs Out Loud. It mocks the hell out of you. He tells me often I look sharp. I mean am I this cool that he can feel it? See how bad I am in dressing? Always trust RaeDan elgant Wears for men’s official Wears in your life, wedding, graduation, Everywhere!

My most dear topics in Mathematics is Ratios. One of the things we were taught is the Inverse Proportionality Relationship. This precisely means one is the opposite of the other. Charles is inversely proportional to Wilson. Charles is Tall, Wilson is Short. Charles is Outspoken, Wilson is Reserved. Charles wears Official Coats, Wilson wears Jampers. Wilson Sings so well, Charles just makes a Joyful Noise to the Lord.


This has been my family in campus. With all her Glamour, Beauty and Brains Muchai intelligently stirred up family warmth amongst these crowd with diversified personalities. We laughed together, had fan together, ate together, fellowshipped together. But when it came to crying, they did it alone. While they were in captivity at Pangani police cells, I was on 540 Seat B02 destination Lamu! Hahaha I was happy to discover that Muchai and I share one thing in common. Despite all our intelligence, we given Supps at Pathway level One.


Now she’s passed the button to this warm and compassionate angel with mad love for Christ, Kerry, my other PP. With her love for her pet Chicken, I can already tell how many chicken will be in Phills ‘17. I am Luhya Kerry, I don’t mind the company of chicken. It couldn’t be better!

It is 4 a.m in the morning. I am seated in my Einstein Chair, alone in my room, in deep thought. As I Sip my coffee, every drop comes with hefty emotions and big memories. Memories about each of these beautiful souls I have shared my Campus life with. I wonder how it will be next year. I’ll be seated with Joshua, Mercy, Kerry, Esther, Emily, Benja, Emma and Vinny, not seeing each of your beautiful smiles anymore. You know Joshua and Benja Never Smile.


With each Monday morning will come a special memory about you, you are always in our hearts. If you want to know the real character of a man, give him power. Money is power. It is easy to be obedient when you don’t have money. It is easy to be God-fearing when you don’t have money. It is easy to hold strong to your values and principles when you don’t have money. It is easy to commit to church and other believers when you don’t have money. Watch Out! When money Comes your way, let it not make you Go Astray!

Keep your passion for Christ alive. Live for a greater course. Remember us wherever you are. Know that we are on our knees praying for you. Don’t Give Up! Grand A-Pic Photography is waiting to capture your beautiful smile on your wedding day.

And am looking forward to host you and your families monthly in my ranch.

These are my tears. Tears of the sun. Goodbye Phils ’16. Hell yeah Phills ’17!

Wanyonyi D.W



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